Midnight Walks

Do you remember
When we used to walk out from the light,  into the freezing midnight fog?
Blinded
Shivering

Acorns crunching under our feet until we took position
Stood still
Held our breath
Trying to be as silent as the  thick  dark
Wearing the dark like velvet earmuffs

We listened keenly through velvet for the hooting of an owl and his mate soaring over the forest
Calling back and forth
Close, then down by the river, then here again over our heads
You told me all about their wings
The powerful silence of their predatory flight
That maybe right now they were swooping inches from us…

No sounds from other creatures
But we sensed them just beyond, sensed them listening to us

I whispered – shall we walk into the forest?

You whispered – no.

In daytime this is our world
Now this world belongs to them
Those night creatures on our periphery
Armoured with night sight, night hearing, night smell
Sharp talons, sharp teeth, sharp needle-skins

We are barely breaths in the fog

Do you remember
Our spectacular clear summer nights ?
Lying on the grass, gazing up at the brilliant dome of stars
Even then we sensed the animals watching us
Felt ourselves on foreign soil

The stars bedazzle us
The forest bedazzles us
Glorious beauty,  glorious mystery
But the equation is always the same
We are so small
And It is all so big

You said – Nature does not care about us
Get that into your head
Nature is  Creation and  Destruction
Nature has its own laws
And we are passersby
Treading at our peril or our joy

Sometimes there is grandeur

Sometimes we are caught in a deathly wake

Trees fall
Exquisite, ancient, twisted, mossy, fern filled, millennial branches
Become fodder for fungi
Who feed the forest
Nature goes on

I do wonder, in spite of this truth
If Nature, however neutral, can feel my yearning
Yearning to know what is behind the curtain
The spark
To know what I think I know, even without words

I do wonder if truth can be lopsided
If maybe nothing is neutral
Maybe the spark of the Divine is right there
If I could penetrate the fog
If I could visit that far off star
If I could hear inside the exquisite curve of the millennial branch

You say naught.   Your thoughts pad back and forth in the dark.

We would like to remain in the wonder of this forest-bordered hilltop all night

But I am cold
Feet and fingers frozen
I hate this vulnerability

We turn our backs to the forest silhouettes
And there is the outline of our little house
Faint beacons of golden light in the windows
On the edge of a cliff

One more breath of foreign darkness into our lungs
Then we step inside a stone membrane
Grateful for warmth
Light
And protection for our vulnerable human tissue
So precious
So temporary